A Story of Two Authoresses
by Miss Black Shadow
Summary: new title When two authoress' get stranded in the HP universe, they come up with a somewhat brilliant plan. Chaos and Laughs promised.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own POTO... I mean I don't own Harry Potter... Wow that's the first time I've ever written that.**

Hey all you Harry Potter fans out there! My name is Miss Black Shadow. I've read some of you're phics... Imean fics... and I've decided to get in on the action. Warning: I am a phantom phan, and DCBA mwmber (waves to other possible DCBA members that could be reading this)and if some of those referances slip in I'm sorry, but Erik is my muse and I'm working on 2 phics and 1 fic right now. Any 'hoz i won't waste any more space with my tangent, on with the fic.

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Prelude to sheer madness

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It had been a picturesque day. It was the first sunny day in nearly a month. Since it was a Saturday Harry, Ron, and Hermione had spent the day outside by the edge of the lake with a picnic lunch. The only down side of the day had been Draco making some snide comment on Ron and Hermione, which they promptly retaliated with levitating him over the lake and dropping him in the icy waters. Now, Harry looked out his window as the sun set and the sky darkened. His mind wandered to his favorite subject Cho. He had been planning on asking her out , but he had been to shy. He was thinking about which was the best way to ask her out when a silver flash came from the astronomy tower. He jumped, "hey, Ron did you see that?"

"Yeah sure, pretty," Ron mumbled, concentrating on his game of wizarding chess with Hermione. She was giving him a run for his money. Harry rolled his eyes, evidently he was the only one who still jumped at every flash of light he saw. Believing it to be some Death Eater or worse.

Little does Harry know, that the flash of silver light was something far worse than any death eater could accomplish.

XxX

The petite teen picked her self off the cold stone. She straitened her black tank top and dusted off her blue flare jeans. Her black leather boots and sliver bracelets gleamed in the fading light of the setting sun. Her black cloak billowed behind her giving her the appearance of an ominous shadow against the orange pink sky. Searching the ground she found her green feather mask and large black polished wood staff. The staff had an emerald in the shape of a flame sitting on the top of the black wood, silver etchings wrapped around the long stick. Her blue green gaze swept the castle view. She cursed.

What the heck? Wasn't she just in Erik's lair enjoying the finer art of having a muse that believed in the power of music? What was she doing here? What chaos was to be had? These books were highly organized! She didn't do organized!

A golden light flashed above her head as a newcomer landed on top of her. She instantly recognized the white cloak, red rose scent, and blonde hair that landed on her. "Shakespearian Rose! GET OFF ME!"

"Well aren't we a little cranky aren't we, Miss Black Shadow?" Rose muttered. She stood and adjusted her outfit. For some reason Shadow couldn't discern Rose had disregarded her normal pirate garb that day and had gone with form fitting jean flares that hung low around her waist complimented with a retro ring belt. As she dusted off her red and gold corseted tank top and her tan high-heeled boots while her white cloak flapped behind her. She picked up her white staff that was topped with a ruby shaped like a rose that was decorated with gold vines wrapping themselves up the staff to the rose. "Where exactly are we?"

"why are you asking me?" Shadow muttered righting her mask on her face. Rose scoffed, "oh.. I don't know… you're the authoress… and it's your overactive imagination that gets us in these situations."

"Well if you haven't noticed I don't know. I mean I have an idea, but if I'm right we may not like it. All I know is I was just listening to my phantom play Don Juan and then I'm lying on the cold stone with my older sister on top of me."

"Um… yeah, that was weird…" Rose's face light with realization. "Oohhhh snap!"

Shadow frowned, "Don't ever say snap again."

"NO No no!" Rose looked around. "I know where we are!"

"Really," Shadow's voice dripped in sarcasm, "Care to enlighten me oh wise one?"

Rose made a wide sweeping gesture, "look around… We're really high up."

"Thanks for the reminder," Shadow glowered.

"No seriously," Rose got a really excited look on her face. "What do you see?"

"Well," the redhead looked out into the landscape slowly being enveloped in darkness. "I see a lake… and a forest… and a tiny little hut… and lots of towers, crap we're at Hogwarts."

"Wait, I thought muggles couldn't see Hogwarts." Rose's eye's lit with hope.

"Don't get your hopes up." Shadow started to make her way off the towers roof, "We're authoresses remember? And being such we have our own brand of literary magic. Because of that magic we're allowed to see everyone, everywhere, and everything that occurs in our world."

"Oh squeaky duckies, hey where do you think you're going?"

"Not sure. I feel compelled to do something chaotic but I need sleep and we don't have a house or common room to crash in that wouldn't raise questions."

"I got it!" Rose clamored down the side of the tower on to the battlements. "the room of requirement!"

"huh?"

Rose sighed, "Didn't you ever pay attention to the details of the books?"

"I counter your question with one of my own," Shadow sent her one of her infamous evil grins. "Did you ever read Leroux's Phantom of the Opera?"

Rose paused, "touché."

"Confession on three"

"One"

"Two"

"Three.."

They both winced, "I skimmed."

They blinked. Then Shadow spoke, "We may be opposites but sometimes we're so alike it's scary."

"Tell me about it," Rose went through the wooden door the led to the lower part of the castle. "you coming?"

"Just a second," Shadow called and surveyed the castle with an evil grin. Let my opera begin.

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Please review! 


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Harry not mine… that's a shame.**

**A/N:** sorry it took so long to update, I got wrapped up in my other phic 24k. Hopefully I will be updating more frequently. PROMISE!

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Chapter 2

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"You sure this is it?" Shadow asked. She didn't like the fact that their HQ would be in practically the middle of the school.

"of course it's it it's behind the tapestry…." Rose moved a tapestry to find a blank wall. "wait, maybe it was the door in the wall…. Or perhaps the pear picture?… No that was kitchens, good to know for when we get hungry….definitely a door in the wall….Here doory doory doory…hehe Dory."

"AUGH!" Shadow started banging her head against the wall. "I'm stuck in Hogwarts with a girl who has the attention span of a gnat…EEP!"

Shadow disappeared through the wall.

Rose peered over the fallen heap of a sister into an interesting layout of the room of requirement.

"Hey! You found it!' Rose cheered as she stepped over her sister into the room.

"No Duh Sherlock!' was heard from the mass of cloak laying at the entrance of the of the room. _Great, of course a sister doesn't help another off the floor._

"Well, are you coming or not?"

_This is going to be fun_! For the second time that day Shadow picked her self off the cold stone floor that she was starting to grow fond of seeing how much time she spent down there. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Rose disappear behind one of the four solid mahogany doors in the room. The main room had stone walls and floor. Large pane windows on the south wall depicted a dark landscape much like the one they left out side a few minutes ago, since they were in the middle of the school Shadow safely assumed that the windows were an enchantment that came with the room. On the north wall was a massive fireplace the would have easily sent all the slytherin quidditch team, at once, by floo powder. Above the dark mantle hung a large mirror, Shadow flinched remembering the last time she had seen a mirror that big. There had been six of them and it had been extremely hot (temperature, I mean temperature!). The other two walls were covered in four large tapestries depicting the four houses of Hogwarts. Bookshelves lined the two walls and they were filled with books whose golden titles gleamed in the fire light. The stone floor was covered in dark ruby red rugs; a pair of overstuffed reading chairs and a fainting couch were pulled close to the fire place. Overall she deemed the picture cozy, she could deal with cozy…she guess she'd have too.

Shadow crossed to one of the other two remaining mahogany doors on the west wall, it had a silver star etched in to the wood. Entering she grinned, she could get used to this. Opposite the door was a cherry wood canopy bed that had black and green velvet curtains. The covers were a deep forest green with black and silver swirls that matched the etchings on her staff. The floor was covered in a dark green plush carpet. The same enchanted windows of the main room also graced her south wall, well at least the room was consistent. A wardrobe and sitting chair were placed against the west wall. On the north wall hung an over large tapestry depicting an old ornate pipe organ and her favorite muse hard at work on Don Juan. Under the tapestry sat a cherry wood desk much like the one Erik had let her use so many times, the familiar parchment and quills scattered across the top of the polished wood. A Pang of guilt at leaving him played at her heartstrings but she shook it aside. It was for the plot after all.

She tossed her staff on the bed, and strode to the desk. She pulled out a fresh piece of parchment and dipped her quill. She quickly penned a note to her forgotten muse, telling him she'd made it, to his utter disappointment she was safe, and she would begin ASAP. Sealing the note in red wax she slipped it into the drawer to be owled later. She grinned, she wish she could see his face when an owl flew five floors under ground to deliver a note. Under her note she found the worn envelope that held her carefully laid plans. She patted the browning parchment affectionately.

"Oh. My. God." Rose squeed, "OUR BATHROOM IS HUGE!"

XxX

Rose flopped onto her canopied circular bed giggling, this was so cool. The deep scarlet silk covers were covered in golden thread designs of vines and roses, the canopy curtains were white and red framing her bed in an alcove. The red carpet was plush and had golden threads weaved into it so the carpet sparkled. In the middle of the room sat a golden circular rug that held the emblem of a rose. She had a dark mahogany desk opposite her bed. This desk was massive with two column drawers that held CDs and DVDs. Over these two columns was an overhanging book shelf filled with nearly every book that existed on mythology and ancient history. On the dark wood top, unlike her sister who preferred parchment and quills, a laptop sat with an improvised plug in the wall and a five subject note book. Evidently the room of requirement hadn't had to deal with electricity before now. Above that hung a tapestry depicting a pirate ship and a maid with golden tresses and lavender dress billowing in the breeze. Along her south wall were the same enchanted windows and a curved window seat with a gold seat cover. In the corner was an old Victorian wardrobe, with carvings depicting great ancient battles and tales. In the remaining corner was a huge white bean bag chair.

She grinned, this was her style. With a squee she swan dived into her bean bag chair. "Judges give it a Ten!" life was going to be sweet.

"ROSE!" Shadow yelled. "GET YOUR BUTT OUT HERE!"

She sat up bolt right, "Hello!"

Trying to stand up she found herself being sucked back into the white mass. "Ahahaha! I'm being eaten alive by a giant marshmallow!"

"ROSE!"

"I'm COMING! Hold your horses!" she went back to struggling with the morphing mass of fluff. "I just have to get out of this butt trap!"

Shadow stormed in, "Rose, I'm getting impatient!"

"'Frankly Scarlet, I don't Give A Damn!'" Rose growled. "the killer marshmallow's trying to eat me alive! … and don't you ever knock?"

Shadow frowned, "I'll ignore that last statement, and what do you mean you're being eaten?"

Rose waved the only part of her that was visible, this happened to be a hand. "Hello! The only part of me you can see is my hand… I'm being eaten by bean baggy quicksand! …. Hehe that rhymed. I'm a poet and I…"

"ROSE!"

"What?"

"RPS."

"Random Pointless Story?"

"No, Random Pointless Saying." Shadow held out her hand.

"Ah, I see." Rose grabbed her hand and pulled her self up.

Shadow turned away for a minute, muttering something about a master plan and a plotline. Rose spotted what looked like a wooden captains wheel next to her window. Casually she strolled towards the object, totally ignoring Shadow's rant fest. Grinning, Rose spun the wheel, "_OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, What do you do with a drunken sailor?… What do you do with a drunken sailor?_…. um What do you do with a drunken sailor? Never mind." Rose spun the captians wheel as fast as she could, in both directions. Totally oblivious to the scream gone unheard in the background. "Haul the braces and Trim and make sail!" (muffled screaming goes unheard in background) "Yo ho heave ho! Yo Ho heave Ho! Jimmy jim jim jimmy up with the sail! Oh jimmy jim jim and away we go! Jimmy jim jim and a whale of a something something a gale something … AND HERE WE GO! OO OO! WHERE'S MY HAT? I wanna look like CAPTIN Jack Sparrow! Hey shadow! Have you seen my hat?"

Rose turns from the wheel and faces the rest of her room, as she wanders through her room she doesn't notice a change.

"hmm, now if I were Shadow were would I hide. Hmmm, beanbag, desk, wardrobe, bed, windows, beanbag, beanbag…. Hmm…. I bet she went out the windows!"

(muffled scream "Their enchanted you idiot!")

"Shadow? SHHAAADDOOOWWW?"

Rose looked around the room and decided to sit down to think this through. She picked one of the two bean bags in the room and sat down to think. Wait… TWO? Suddenly the muffled screams that Rose had been missing came into her hearing.

"GET OFF ME!"

"Oh.. Umm… sorry?"

Rose stood up off the red bean bag in the middle of the room realizing that when she spun the captain's wheel that a giant red bean bag had dropped from the ceiling and landed on Shadow.

"Wow, you look pissed. And delightfully ruffely!"

Shadow growled, and ripped her mask off her face. Her red hair was disheveled and her green eyes flashed. "You THINK!"

Rose blinked, "by the way, why do you wear that mask?"

Shadow glared before smoothing her hair and retying the mask in place, "you didn't read my 24k phic did you?"

Rose shook her head. Shadow sighed, "it's a part of my siren protocol. Part of my face must be covered when pulling a prank or walking around in the opera house. So no one can identify me and I'm free to have as much fun as I want. Besides, what normally happens when a man sees a siren's face?"

"Oo, Oo! Pick me!" Rose grinned, "they drown."

"Exactly!" Shadow picked up her staff. Recovering her indifferent air she sent Rose a wicked grin. "Ready to reek havoc, cause mass pandemonium, turmoil, madness, disarray, anarchy, confusion, bedlam, commotion, mayhem, disorder, big messes, and my personal favorite great amounts of chaos?"

Rose grabbed her staff, "Totally!"

XxX

It was halfway through dinner, most of the school was feasting below. There was a carefree air. Golden plates and goblets twinkled in the floating candle light, everything was at peace. Teachers and student alike sat talking and chatting amongst themselves. Ignorant of the danger that was right above them.

Unknown to the population below, above the enchanted ceiling of the great hall is an unseen system of rafters and support beams. The people below can't see past the enchanted sky, but anyone above could see almost perfectly below. An almost one way mirror effect only instead of seeing a reflection the students saw the clouds or weather of the day. It made the perfect hiding spot to set up a mass prank.

"DON'T DROP THAT!" Shadow hissed. Rose teetered on the edge of the rafter, with the skill of a state champion gymnast she regained her balance. "I wasn't going too until you spazed."

"We need to be careful," Shadow to hang a few more brightly colored balloons. Leaving the green paintballs completely unguarded. "one false move and…"

"oops."

"Opps?" Shadow twitched.

"I did NOT want to hear oops!" she whirled to face a shocked looking Rose, "What did you do!"

"Nothing!" Rose squeaked.

"Rose…" Shadow warned.

"Well, see, I was picking up a paint ball and I dropped it. Those things are slippery you know! Anyways, umm it landed on Dumbledore's plate and …"

"And?" Shadow raised an inquisitive brow.

"….he ate it" Rose stared down on the scene below.

Shadow blinked, "He what?"

"He ate it!"

Slightly weirded out, Shadow asked "Well.. Umm. What color was it?"

"Green." she screeched.

"ROSE!"

"What?"

"I said don't touch the green ones!"

"no you didn't!"

"Yes I did!"

"no you didn't, check the page," Rose pointed up.

Shadow read, "oh I guess you're right. But still, I was saving those."

Rose frowned, "for what?"

Shadow grinned, and hefted a mean looking paintball gun. "This!"

Rose grinned, "Oo Oo let me! let me!"

Shadow gave over the machine and grabbed the rope and a mic. Overhead rows upon rows of balloons filled with a myriad of different colored paint hung suspended by ropes just waiting to be released. Above the ropes were a line of oversized amps magically produced for the occasion. She swept her green blue gaze around the hall, so many innocent students, so many targets. She glanced at Rose, "on the count of three ready?"

Rose bent over on the rafter, lifted the firearm, and took aim, "1…"  
Shadow grinned and tightened her grip on the rope, "2..."

"3!"

XxX

Harry sat at the Gryffindor table. Ron sat to his left while Seamus was at his right; Hermione, Neville, and Ginny sat across the table. Tonight was a sort of a celebration dinner, it was the middle of September and nothing had happened to ruin their school year. Yet. Ron was stuffing food down his throat at an alarming rate. Hermione was reading _Hogwarts a History _for the third time that year. Neville sat looking at his rememberal which had quit going back to gray and had permanently turned scarlet. Ginny kept trying to help Neville to no avail, "did you forget your homework?"

"yes," Neville sighed. "I think it may have something to do with …well…something."

Harry smiled. Same old routine he glanced at the head table, the teachers were in their normal spots. Hagrid was smiling sitting near the end of the table. Dumbledore sat in his usual place watching over his students while chatting with Professor Finch. Snape sat doing his natural impression of an old Bat. In other words life was it's usual…

A piercing screech cut through the air. Lavender jumped up from her seat. Her brown hair covered in what looked like blue paint. Jumping up Patil tried to calm the hysterical Gyffindor. Everyone averted their gaze to the ceiling as small balls of what was considered liquid poison bombarded the air, little did they know that the two authoresses had launched a barrage of multi-colored paint balls from their perch above the teachers table. Students dived for places where they would be considered safe from the rain of death. Student dived under tables, chairs, plates, and even other students were sacrificed to the deadly barrage. The glittering silverware was tarnished, covered in the sticky goop. While overhead students could hear what they believed was Peeves bellowing something that sounded like a monty python song, to those select few who knew it's famous tune…

"We're phans of the Phantom fable,

We glomp 'im whene'er we're able

We write phanphics and do high kicks

With cameos impeccable.

We'll write well here in Phan phiction

Fulf, angst, and dream without conviction

We're phans of the Phantom fable

Some may call us unstable

But with caffine and a plot line

We're back at the writing table

We're opera mad in Phan phiction

We write and sing with perfect diction.

In torture we're more than able!

We can do more than strangle

To the fop we'll give a chop

And Christine will have to grovel

We're phans of the Phantom Fable

I just got a pet weasel!

Only the voice sounded to well, good to be Peeves. Also it was really loud, far beyond the capabilities of the small poltergeist. Plus their was the fact that Peeves was screaming and ducking along with the students.

Slytherins were being covered in a deep scarlet sticky substance. Naturally, believing it was blood, they freaked Screaming and yelling. Believing they were dying one particular bleach blonde student began writing his last will and testament in jam on the table. Huffelpuffs got the neon orange job, which clashed hideously with their black and yellow robes, giving them the look of bee's dipped in orange juice. Ravenclaws were dodging balloons filled with hot pink, after a while they began to look like surfs with sunburns.

Mean while at the Gyffindor table Hermione was the only one smart enough to cast a repelling spell on her self. While her fellow Gyffindors were being splattered with green paint, oh the despised color of their enemies, she was trying to cast spells at whoever was attacking them. Unfortunately she couldn't see past the cloud cover so she was basically taking stabs in the dark. Harry and the rest of the gang took cover under a table, fending off the balloons with their plates. Harry bid a fond adieu to his peaceful year.

The staff weren't excluded from this assault they were being covered by a rainbow of colors. Snape was the recipient of a lovely shade of lilac purple. Professor Sprout was hit with a balloon of royal blue.

XxX

Shadow grinned , "I love the smell of panic in the morning!"

Rose spared her a glare before taking aim at Professor McGonagal, she took the shot covering her in a pale yellow. Rose grimaced, "yellow is not her color."

Shadow frowned in the middle of her rendition of "What do you do with a Drunken Sailor". Her gaze narrowed in on Dumbledore. She lowered the mic, "Hey Rose, What's Dumbledore doing?"

Rose pulled another rope releasing the last set of balloons before joining her sister looking at the headmaster. "It looks like he's mumbling…" Her blue eyes grew wide, "AND NOT BLINKING!"

Below their cover disappeared, making the scene below crystal clear. All eyes averted upward, all movement ceased. Student peered out of hiding spots to see.

Shadow blinked, and exchanged a startled look with Rose, "I didn't know he could do that!"

Rose smiled and through gritted teeth she snapped, "We better do something!"  
"Follow my lead, " A wolfish grin spread over Shadows features. She lifted her black staff high, lifting the microphone to her mouth. "You are in for a treat my dear students. We have decided to make you castle our new home. You are now in the presence of The Siren of the Lake."

Rose produced a mic of her own, "And the Phoneix from the Ashes ."

Shadow grinned, "do not come after us! For if you do, a disaster beyond for imagination will occur!"  
With that she disappeared in a cloud of green smoke, and a black feather fell grace fully to rest on the Slytherin Table in the middle of the jelly smear which Draco called his will. Draco stared and picked up the feather with the glittering 'S' painted on the black wisps. As he was admiring his gift from the mistress of the lake, Rose followed suit in a cloud of red. A singular long stemmed rose could be seen falling to the Gryffindor table and landed right in front of Harry . Harry picked up the rose and saw that a 'P' had been painted on the petals. Students looked in awe as the two magicians seemed to have given their approval to the two greatest rivals of Hogwarts. Murmurs of competition began to circle the tables as each house began to see whose mistress of magic was better. Dumbledore stood among the ever increasing murmurs, anyone who cared to stand near the professor could hear him mumble something closely resembling a 'Not surprising at all'

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OH Yeah I don't own Monty Python either But the song you saw above is MY theme song! No touchie. Hope you enjoyed it! Please Review!


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